Detour
by LoveBackwards
Summary: TH Modern One-Shot. All they were asked to do was bring a few boxes to their teacher's car. How can a few seniors make it hard for Kouga, Hiten, and Bankotsu?


"I can't believe they're firing you." Bankotsu disapprovingly shook his head.

"I know…" Ms. Jorden sighed, being the last week of the term; she had received notification that she would be one of the several cutbacks the school had made.

"They fire the one good teacher in this school." Kouga scoffed and read through the review sheet for finals.

"Shut it already." Kagura rolled her eyes. "Its bad enough she lost her job, the last thing she needs is you idiots reminding her every ten seconds."

"Yo….suck it." Bankotsu stuck his tongue out and Kagura held up her sharpened pencil. Bankotsu yelped, put his tongue back, and covered his mouth.

"Aha….pussy." Hiten teased.

"Boys, could you do me a quick favor?" Ms. Jorden cleared her throat.

"Don't. Trust them." Jakotsu said seriously and Bankotsu glared.

"Honesty's the best policy?" Suikotsu smiled and Hiten sighed.

"What is it?" He looked over.

"Just to carry these things out to my car…there's a lot so if you cant I'll always have the seniors do it next block."

"No, no, we'll do it." Kouga stood up, only being this well behaved for his favorite teacher like the other too.

"You trust them with your keys?" Tsubaki stared.

"Shouldn't you be with Renkotsu?" Bankotsu replied in a dull voice.

"Ten bucks Bankostu doesn't make it up." Kagura leaned over and whispered to Abi while Bankotsu argued with Tsubaki.

"That's terrible." Abi smirked and actually did her work.

"C'mon, three idiots with keys to a teacher's car, one idiot whose favorite show is Sponge Bob." Kagura rolled her eyes.

"Well….alright, either Bankotsu or all of them don't make it back." Abi teased and Kagura's grin widened.

"Told ya so."

"Speaking of not coming back…what happened to your brother and his little group?" Abi looked up.

"Tch, first off, Naraku doesn't own that little group, Kiky does, and second of all…I don't know…" She blinked and stared off as she went into thought.

"Oh well…" Abi shrugged and watched the three boys leave the room with boxes. Kagura smiled and waved back as Bankotsu enthusiastically waved to her.

"Oh yeah….he's so not making it back."

-

"This school is bogus, man." Kouga sighed as he led the trio down the stairs.

"The word bogus is so bogus." Hiten rolled his eyes.

"Then why'd you just use it to describe the word bogus?" Kouga retorted.

"Whoa, whoa, too much bogus." Bankotsu cut them off and they both sighed.

"Walk faster." Hiten ordered.

"Hah." Kouga moved down the steps in slow motion and Hiten nudged his friend's ass with his foot.

"I knew you guys were together." Bankotsu laughed and they both stopped dead in their tracks to glare at him. "I'm just saying."

"Yo, who's got the keys?" Kouga felt his pockets for their teacher's set.

"What kinda car did she say she had?" Bankotsu held up the individual key.

"Oh dear god." Hiten pinched the spot between his eyes.

"Give me the keys."

"Tch, no, I can handle holding onto the keys." Bankotsu scoffs and walked through the backdoors towards the teacher's parking lot.

"Alright she said…" Hiten stopped when he heard voices. He walked around the corner and blinked.

"What the fuck are you all doing here?" Kouga stared. Naraku, Renkotsu, and Sesshomaru all looked over.

"Oh….hey?" Naraku arched his brow.

"What are ya….whatcha got there?" Hiten tried to peek over.

"Go back to class." Renkotsu waved his hand in looked into the car the boys quickly recognized as the school principle's.

"Ooh, I want in!" Bankotsu's eyes lit up.

"Tch, fuck no." Naraku rolled his eyes and took a drag of his cigarette.

"C'mon." Hiten groaned and put his box down, walking up to the car.

"…if you insist." Renkotsu sighed and stepped away from the car.

"Tch." Kouga walked in front to the rolled down window. In no less than a second later, Kikyou sat up in the passenger seat and sprayed shaving cream in his face. "What the fuck?" He coughed and swatted the can away.

"Oh…it's you…oops?" Kikyou smiled.

"Fuck you." Kouga spat. Kikyou growled and stuck the nose of the can in the front of Kouga's pants before spraying. Naraku, Sesshomaru, Renkotsu, Bankotsu, and Hiten pointed and laughed as Kouga jumped around trying to get the can out.

"Fuck you." Kikyou smirked and leaned out the window.

"You're fucking crazy!"

"I love you too dear…but obviously you're seein' someone else if you're walking around like you have a dick stuck in your ass." She restrained her snicker and he snarled.

"You know what?"

"Ok, break it up, break it up." Naraku rolled his eyes and pushed Kouga back.

"So why are you guys even out here?" Renkotsu asked.

"Ms. Jorden asked us to help her…why are you here?" Bankotsu blinked.

"Shaving cream bomb." Kikyou smiled and held up the other bottle she had.

"Tch, you don't even know how to set it up." Kouhga rolled his eyes.

"No need to contradict us, just shoo." Naraku waved his hand. Bankotsu held up the key and went to press the button to unlock the car but they were snatched from his hand.

"Damn, Carol got a Camry?" Kikyou fiddled with the key.

"Tch, those shits suck." Renkotsu rolled his eyes.

"But they're worth enough…for teacher's pay anyways." Kikyou shrugged.

"Kikyou, we need those keys." Hiten sighed.

"Oh do you?" She smirked and he gulped.

"Kikyou…c'mon….lets do this the easy way." He slowly approached the car she sat in.

"And since when am I easy?" Kikyou scoffed and randomly flung the keys aside, Sesshomaru caught them.

"Ok, guys, this isn't funny." Bankotsu shook his head. "Right….Kouga…." His voice trailed off when he looked over to his friend who had stripped to his boxers and was attempting to shake the uncomfortable shaving cream out of his crotch, Naraku started laughing.

"Holy fuck." He wiped his eyes. Kikyou leaned out of the car and it went unnoticed as she snatched his pants.

"You little clepto!" Hiten pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Nyah." She stuck her tongue out.

"Kikyou give everything back." Hiten sighed.

"So you want that red hoody that went missing three weeks ago back?" Naraku grinned, happily adding fuel to the flame.

"_You_ took that!?"

"Tch, made you look like you were in a gang, man, I was doing your wankster ass a favor." She rolled her eyes.

"Youtuuube." Renkotsu whispered to Kouga and he looked up, seeing Bankotsu record his 'dance' on his phone.

"You whore!" He lunged and Bankotsu gagged as he was tackled to the ground for his phone. "Who took my pants?" He sat up and looked around.

"Ew, looks like you guys were having sex." Naraku scrunched his nose and Kouga looked down to see that he was sitting on Bankotsu in his boxers.

"Ew!" He stood up.

"Oh baby." Bankotsu winked.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Call me." Bankotsu laughed.

"Where the fuck are my pants?" Kouga growled, beyond pissed.

"Say please." Kikyou took Naraku's cigarette and took a drag, causing him to glare at her.

"Give me my pants!"

"Say please." Kikyou rolled her eyes and blew her smoke aside.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"JUST SAY FUCKING PLEASE!" Bankotsu snapped and they all looked over. "Jesus fucking Christ, say please Kouga."

"No fucking way." He glared and then looked over when he smelt smoke. His eyes got wide when he saw Kikyou, with her mischievous grin, holding her red lighter to his jeans. "Kikyou, don't."

"Remember that time you pushed me into a locker?" Kikyou sighed dramatically.

"Oh, she got you now." Naraku sighed.

"…no." Kouga answered hesitantly.

"Or that time you had a party at my pool without my consent?" She added, her grin growing wider as she slowly moved the flame closer.

"C'mon, this is OD overboard, just give me back the jeans and…"

"FIRE!" Kikyou lit the pants on fire and he gaped.

"You bitch!" He went to put it out but Sesshomaru held him back. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

"You never paid me back that ten bucks." Sesshomaru shrugged.

"I'M NOT GOING BACK TO CLASS WITH NO PANTS!" Kouga yelled.

"Shh…" Hiten sighed. "Can I have my hoody back…please?" Hiten muttered.

"You guys are such pussies." Bankotsu rolled his.

"It's in Ren's car." Kikyou shrugged.

"Wait…what?" Renkotsu blinked at her.

"I luff you?" She smiled innocently and he sighed.

"Whatever." Kouga scowled and put on his half scorched jeans, angrily taking the boxes to the car.

"Oh yeah…" Kikyou handed Hiten the key to the teacher's car. "Thanks for he entertainment."

"Whatever." Hiten sighed.

"Wait don't walk that way!" Kikyou called.

"Huh?" Hiten looked over and stopped walking. A water balloon dropped on his head and his nostrils flare.

"Don't say I didn't warn ya." She sighed and got out of the principle's car, leading the others elsewhere.

"What a bitch!" Kouga ranted.

"Tell me about it."

"Hey, I thought it was funny." Bankotsu shrugged.

-

"Where have you been?" Ms. Jorden looked to the boys that walked in and blinked.

"We had a detour." Kouga sunk down in his seat, ignoring the calls from Jakotsu across the room due to his burned pants.

"Tch." Hiten sat beside him, soaked.

"Best. Detour. Ever." Bankotsu chimed and sat with them.

"…scary part…he made it back in the best condition." Kagura muttered and Abi sighed.

"Makes me wanna believe in miracles."

-

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

**A/N: I've been writing a lot of drama 'behind the scenes' and it really just made me in the mood for my idiotic humor…so this came out. Please review?**


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